Getting over

You want to “get over” this person. Does that mean that you are no longer willing to invest anything into the relationship emotionally? Do want a divorce or separation from this person, or are you trying to emotionally detach yourself or ignore this person because they are doing the same to you? I agree that if you find yourself in a situation where you can longer stand being around the person you are involved with, it is time to move on. If that is not possible, the two of you need to talk it out and make arrangements to either reconcile the problem or have one or both persons make some other living arrangements.

In the meantime, you could get yourself a hobby (or a few to occupy your spare time if you have any). Go out with friends and spend time with them. Go out for a little entertainment more often than usual. You could even go out by yourself–go for a drive or a walk–find a quiet spot like a library or coffee shop and read a good book, have a coffee or tea, or bring your laptop. Read more self help and self improvement books. Are you religious at all? Get closer to God–renew your faith, and use this time to work on your self and improve spiritually. Make more time for you.

Do not harass or speak to said person unless spoken to. Don’t give unsolicited advice or be rude. Remain polite, short, quick, and to the point when speaking. Respect their space, and teach them to respect yours. Go about your life as normally as possible in the meantime until you are able to make this transition. Talk on the phone with friends and family more who can comfort you in your time of need and give advice. Spend more time with family if they are near you. Get a pet–I find this usually lifts people’s spirits. Take up some classes, whether they be online, night, or just cooking classes or decorating. Acquire a new skill, volunteer, or make new friends. Do things that you love to do, and try to keep your mind off of this person.

It will not help you to remain in this period of “limbo” for a prolonged amount of time. Something has to be resolved so that the two of you can move on with your lives. Is this a spouse or just significant other? Have you thought about either getting counseling or just filing for a divorce if the marriage is just irreconcilable–can anything be salvaged here? Ask yourself these questions and let this person know your intentions and your plans for your life from here on out. Don’t torture yourself by remaining in a toxic relationship where you feel like a prisoner in your own home and feel like you are walking on egg shells or have to tip toe around this person. You should feel safe in a relationship. It may be best for you to just move on and renew your life. Are there any children involved? If so, you have to make a decision that is best for them as well–spend more time with them in the meantime (if applicable). Hope everything works out for you–Good luck